Platypus Jealousy
by darknessmistess
Summary: I can't believe I wrote this . . . Sequel to Guinea Pig Jealousy. Naruot aws hungry, Hinata was cuddling a platypus. R&R!


The request got so high, I decided to write a one shot connected to Guinea Pig Jealous. I still have writers block on my other stories though . . . oh well. This is a NaruHina oneshot!

You better enjoy it!

Disclaimer: I don't have a cell phone, My friend's name is Sue, I don't own Naruto, and neither do you!

Platypus Jealousy:

Why oh why couldn't it have been a normal day for poor little Naruto. Nothing seemed to be going his way. First, his cold-hearted teammate Sasuke seemed obsessed with Sakura now. Second, he now owns a guinea pig named Foofy that tries to eat all of his hard earned ramen. And the worst of all, the guinea pig did eat all of his ramen and left him with . . . broccoli.

Of all of the things that evil little guinea pig could have eaten, why did he have to eat the ramen? Guinea pigs are supposed to eat rabbit food, AKA broccoli. But no, Naruto had a mentally challenged guinea pig that thought that it was his. Naruto could swear that the guinea pig was trying to get into his clothes one day. Stupid Foofy.

Naruto just stared at the broccoli, wondering why in the world he had it anyway. When he had mountains of delicious ramen, why in the world did he have broccoli? He stared at Foofy who was once again trying on his clothes. Foofy must have put the broccoli there to taunt him.

Naruto refused to succumb to his weakness. He would not eat broccoli no matter how hungry he was. Besides, he could just go get some ramen from his favorite ramen stand heck yeah! Take that, pig!

He laughed loudly as he closed the door to his apartment. He knew how to defeat the evil Foofy! Leave the guinea pig with the rabbit food and then it would have to eat it. Naruto was such a genius!

Too bad Naruto didn't see Foofy squeal evilly and loudly as it moved one of Naruto's jacket's, revealing the last ramen pack. Happy squealing ensued as Foofy began his next meal.

Naruto finally reached the stand. But oh, he wished he had never come. The horror, the pain, the tragedy.

"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Naruto screamed as he read the treacherous sign, "MY RAMMEN! WHO WOULD CLOSE THIS HAVEN OF HOLY RAMEN!"

"N-Naruto. Th-he owner is just on v-vacation." He heard a timid voice behind him.

Naruto whirled around, "Hi Hinata-chan! What're . . ." he had to stop, Hinata was holding the ugliest thing he had ever seen.

Boy, was this monster ugly. It was obviously the victim of some horrible accident. It was a cross between a beaver and a duck.

"Hinata, I am so sorry about your beaver," Naruto started sadly, "What happened to it."

Hinata looked confused for a moment before she giggled a bit, cuddling the mutant closer to her chest, a sweet innocent action that made something in him snap. For some strange reason . . . he felt like . . . eating the platypus.

"I-It's a platypus N-Naruto, his name is Solly!" Hinata kept giggling, cuddling the animal even closer to her.

This was no fair. Naruto had a crush on her since . . . . . well, when he gave up on Sakura. Who couldn't have a crush on Hinata, she was just so cute and innocent. Naruto blinked, how many other men had a crush on Hinata, maybe he should just poke every man's eye out in the village and if that platypus snuggled any closer to Hinata he would eat it.

_What the heck? Why do I want to eat a platypus!_

_**Because I'm hungry you idiot.**_

_Hey Kyuubi, what's the haps?_

_**Grr! What kind of person says 'what the haps?' Stop embarrassing me and be a proper container.**_

_I am, and I'm properly containing you!_

_**Just let me eat the platypus and the go get your girl.**_

_I DON'T WANT TO EAT A PLATYPUS!_

"N-Naruto, a-are you okay?" Hinata's sweet voice lulled him out of his little dimension.

Naruto nodded slowly. "Hey, Hinata-chan?"

"Y-yes?"

"Would you please make me some ramen?"

Hinata blushed crimson and Naruto let out an uncharacteristic smirk, "Would you like to go out with me sometime, as my girlfriend?"

Hinata's smile lit up her whole face. "YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!" Hinata was jumping up and down in circles, that Platypus still in her arms.

Naruto's spun her around in his arms, feeling completely content, until he felt a clawed hand swipe at his chest. He reluctantly put Hinata down. "Hinata-chan . . . where did you get that platypus?"

Hinata as flushed a cute crimson from being swung around in her new found boyfriend. " Your teacher gave me Solly."

Naruto's eyes widened for a second before they narrowed immensely. He growled before gently kissing Hinata's lips. "I'll see you later Hinata-chan."

Hinata was so deep in cloud nine that she didn't even see Naruto leave, she finally got a kiss form Naruto.

(5-MINUTES LATER)

"Kakashi-sensei! I am going to kick your sorry rear right into the sun! You'll be crispier than Ino's salad!" Naruto shouted, running full scale toward his teacher.

Kakashi side-stepped and stuck his leg out, effectively tripping Naruto.

"You might want to use rangensan." Kakashi pulled out his book and continued reading.

"Hey Kakashi-sensei!"

Kakashi glanced up from his book.

"If Kyuubi wants to eat you through me, would that be considered cannibalism?"

Kakashi dropped his book, his eye wide, "Why would he want to eat me?"

"Because I wouldn't let him eat the platypus or the guinea pig. So, can I eat you?"

"No!"

"But he's hungry!" Naruto whined.

Kakashi twitched and then gasped " . . . . . . . Someone is talking to your Hinata."

"HINATA-CHAN!" Naruto left a puff of smoke behind him.

Kakashi picked his book back up, "I love playing matchmaker . . . where did I get that platypus?"

(MEANWHILE WITH HINATA)

"Hinata, he's so cute!" Sakura gushed, not noticing Sasuke getting more murderous with every passing second.

"I know. Solly is the cutest thing ever."

"Yes he is!" Sakura cooed.

Sasuke couldn't help it anymore. Faster than the eye could see he snatched up the platypus, put it somewhere else, and was back at Sakura's side looking innocent.

"Solly?" Hinata's eyes watered and tears made their way down her porcelain cheeks. "Solly" Hinata started bawling.

"Sasuke-teme! What did you do to my girlfriend!" Naruto embraced Hinata tightly as she clung to his shirt.

Sasuke shrugged but Naruto could see that side effect of jealousy just leaving his eyes. Naruto glared at him, a look that said 'I'll beat you up later.'

Sasuke just smirked, wrapped his arm around Sakura's waist and started walking away.

Naruto sighed, Sasuke could get jealous to easily. "Hinata-chan, maybe your platypus was homesick!"

His reply was a soft snore. Naruto chuckled as he lifted his love up bridal style and began his way toward the Hyuuga mansion.

(Four Hours Later)

_Man, Neji sure can hit hard!_ Naruto thought as he opened the door to his apartment. Neji beat him up when he saw Naruto carrying Hinata in his arms while she was unconscious. Yeah, ouch. He couldn't just beat up his girl's cousin.

As Naruto entered his room to retire for the night, he froze, his eyes wide. His worst nightmare had become reality. There on his bed was not only Foofy, but Solly as well.

"SASUKE-TEME!"

(((&&&&&&&&

I'm sorry for this sad excuse of a story . . . but I tried right? This is probably the worst story ever made. Please review.


End file.
